“I’m a failure!” This postdoc is in despair. He’s been researching for so long into the same topic, but his work is still nowhere near publication.

Eureka! I’ve made it! After a long dry spell, a PhD student’s results suddenly add up. The data make sense, and even reveal a few surprises. She is already dreaming of publishing in Nature or Science – and of later winning a Nobel Prize.

No one understands me! The PhD student’s data actually looked fantastic. But now that she’s presenting her results at a conference, her peers don’t understand her, they ask tedious questions and reject her conclusions. Some of them are simply bored.

How can she be better than me? A postdoc is shocked to find that a competitor has been quicker off the mark, and she has published almost exactly what he wanted to. And she did it better than him. He’s overcome with envy and anger.

Cheers to our heroic deeds! The research group has been able to publish in a renowned journal for sociology. They’ve arrived at the summit of the Mount Olympus of their field. Now it’s time to celebrate! Everyone is whisked away from their PC screens, and the champagne corks are popping on the terrace.